And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.
Suck it, katana
And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.
Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.
Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.
In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.
You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.
Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.
Swords aren’t lightsabers.
This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.
Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.
Commentary = perfection.
Looks like this guy’s ill-gotten gains are now someone else’s ill-gotten gains.
I’m insinuating that he’s a drug dealer. No one can have facial tattoos that extensive without doing SOMETHING illegal.
Undead Secrets of Paris: The Vampire Museum and Occult Rituals of Père Lachaise
But first, on earth as vampire sent,
Thy corse shall from its tomb be rent,
Then ghastly haunt thy native place,
And suck the blood of all thy race.
There from thy daughter, sister, wife,
At midnight drain the stream of life,
Yet loathe the banquet which perforce
Must feed thy livid living corse.
Thy victims ere they yet expire
Shall know the demon for their sire,
As cursing thee, thou cursing them,
Thy flowers are withered on the stem.
- Lord Byron
Can one be afraid of what he does not believe in? It would seem logical to say no. But if the vampire has gone from legend to myth to even archetype, then it is probably because, though few would confess believing in a she, he or it, the vast majority is nonetheless terrified.
- translated excerpt from “Le Livre Des Vampires” by Jacques Sirgent
Romania might be dripping with vampire-themed shops selling wooden stakes and England may boast that it was Dracula's transplanted home, but if you want the most intimate stroll through the literary, cultural, and sociohistorical life of the vampire, go to Paris, France, where vampire folklore and legend has been alive for many centuries and historian Jacques Sirgent, author of the French title, Le Livre Des Vampires (The Book of Vampires), can take you on an intellectual journey into the heart of Gothic Romanticism, still undead and well here, against the backdrop of a dark and stormy night in le Musée des Vampires.
Thanks so much to everyone who has helped share my “secret origin” story. I’m still being flooded with messages from people who have just learned they can put down their invisible guns. By sharing this, you’re helping me shine the signal. Thanks, Commissioners. <3
My grandpa has had a beard for 35 years, so I told him about No Shave November and he laughed for a solid two minutes then stopped dry and said, “There’s something wrong about a seasonal beard, never trust a man who only has a beard for one month out of the year.”
And I’m still laughing about it.